A Feeling called Mumbai

I really wanted to write something about the onset of Monsoon, but they can wait (they are waiting): I really can't skip telling you all what happened yesterday, the day India goofed up, so comically, its last match in T-20 World cup 2009. India vs South Africa.

This time, I didn't even turn to Star Cricket. The TV was switched off at ten - exactly the time at which the match started. I'm sure you will agree - what's the point in watching a game India stands no chance of gaining anything from. It's out of the contest - that's that.

But that didn't mean I was not at all interested in the match - my electronically resurrected FM device would provide me with latest score updates! I switched on the radio; reception was exceptionally clear tonight - maybe because of the clear skies (courtesy - delayed Monsoons in Mumbai). Even the choice of songs had exceeded Mumbai FM's usual standards. All new songs from all new movies - man, the songs were great!

The score updates went on as usual. I was happy to notice the undaunted loyalty of Indian supporters, the belief that last two matches were mistakes - this match would prove India's superiority. The scoreboard was also pointing to that fact: end of South Africa's innings - India had succeeded in containing the favorites-of-the-World-Cup to a meager 130 runs in 20 overs. This was unreal, man! Even the skeptic in me started cheering. In my mind I started making up the title and content of the apologetic and encouraging blog I'd be writing the next day (today).

The RJs were jubilant - their words conveying billion Indian's thoughts - 'do not mess with India, we fall and rise like the Phoenix!' Jubilant also were the songs that came my way...

I was in half mind to turn on the TV, but laziness held me back, and I decided to use the cheaper form of entertainment instead to keep myself up-to-date with the score.

Second Innings - the jubilation continues - 50 runs for no loss. One DJ said - '...crushed will those be who challenge India, like South Africa is being crushed now by Indian Tigers...' Another said - '...India is on the verge of retaining its image as the champions again...'

Then suddenly, the frequency of the score updates reduced, and the frequency of the songs increased. I thought - 'Good, I'll enjoy a few songs, and after that I'll hear a developed score, good...'

But then the RJ was back, saying all sorts of rubbish ranging from pressurized situations to breaking up with girlfriends, I was like 'Cut the crap, man! Tell the freaking score!'

As if in reply he said '... and India is being swatted like mosquitoes - the score is 76-5.'

All those rosy images in my mind of a win at last came to an abrupt halt - What the hell! Five down! This is bad!

I desperately waited for the next update, my fingers crossed; only it didn't come - the usual run of three songs got extended to 5 songs in the current channel, as the RJ took his own time to return. I tried changing the channels, only to realise all the other channels had turned on their 'NonStopGaane' or 'LateNightNonStop' feature and the former channel was the only one with an active RJ! That struck me weird - why would the competing FM channels show so much unity in keeping the score from the listeners? It was as if mentioning India's completely shameful and impending defeat was an unspeakable crime, and the RJs were determined to spare the listeners of this agony!

Also, unlike in the previous matches, the FMs were not playing depressing songs in reaction to India loss (that is, if India had lost, I didn't know as yet).

So I quickly turned to Mobile GPRS, and the score stared me in the face -

India 19.3 overs 115-8 Required Runrate 32.00.

I slumped. India had done it again - proved that it was not fit to play against any decent team in this World Cup. I mean, India had shown us that it could neither win batting first, nor chasing. And in chasing it couldn't even chase a small target! This was the limit! I couldn't believe it!

I turned back to FM, although I knew what I was about to hear. Sure enough (I am NOT making this one up):

Channel one - 'Dil hai ki maaaanta nahin.....'

Then I noticed a something strange.

Channel two - 'Falak tak chal saath mere.... Falak tak chal saath chal....'

Channel three - 'Thik hai thik thik, sab kucch thik hai, paas hai sab kucch, rab nazdeek hai....'

Channel four - 'Kaho na Kaho, Yeh aankhen bolti hain, o sanam o sanam....'

Channel five - 'Don't worry, be happy, 'coz every little thing, is gonna be alright!'

This abrupt reversal of the behavior of FM stunned me. Then, I felt relieved that India had at last learned to cope with the unpredictable nature of T-20, and had learned not to expect much of this team, either! I shall not go into blaming anyone this time, one: because I did not see a single ball of this match, two: the Indian team just showed us, that it was beyond blaming....

'Ladkon ne toh band bajadi pant kholkar, Apni ijjat in the hands of DESI GIRLS...

(Not that I claim any Indian is 'dummy' when it comes to cricket, but if by any chance a woman reads this, er, sorry....;-)

Much as I wanted to avoid writing this blog, come Monday morning, I decided I wouldn't feel right if I didn't.

So 4th match for India - after having lost a critical match against the Windies, this upcoming match was being proclaimed a must-win match, which was pretty correct. One loss would ensure India, the champions' quick exit from this T20 world cup 2009. This would be a big win for England, and a huge win for India, as had been rightly put by one of the commentators at the beginning of the match.

I was pretty sure India would win, I mean come on, England was such a thakela team, it had lost from Holland, man. I mean c'mon, yaar!

But the first innings gave us our first misgivings - lots of extras, scarcity of wickets for a long time and worst fielding - yet India had managed to restrict them to 153, the same score India had made against the Windies. After the 1st innings, I was sure India would win though, I mean, they could play just like they did against Windies, right?

How wrong I was - the critical batting order changes, risky inclusions and destruction of the opening batsmen cost India dearly. There were a lot less extras, England seemed to be feilding like pros, saving every run, not to mention boundaries. India, too, seemed to think they could make it in the last few overs - procrastination at its best. Jadeja, the new inclusion, risky, as he had similarly consumed countless balls in the warmup match against NZ, had done the same thing here - sending India scampering for runs in the second part of the second innings.

Then Yuvraj came. The fact that India was quickly losing its edge soon took the backseat, as Yuvy hit a sixer off the first ball, injecting hope into the largest cricketing population in the world.

But few deliveries later, the big man was gone, stumped, so suddenly and cruelly, that it seemed as if Yuvraj had been assassinated right there! Hey ram!

Nothing to worry, MS would have said surely, another Y-man is there to backup. But could Yusuf save the day?

And what should we expect from MS, the wrecker of the previous match?

But India still had hope until the last 4 balls when 15 were required - and that was one moment in T20 history when sixers were absolutely, not partially, called for - 20% of the world's population had one unanimous thought - c'mon Yusuf, give us a sixer!

9 in 2 required, sixer had been delivered, but a delivery too late. Still there is hope - Sidebottom bowls - damn! say a 100 crore Indians - a single!

8 required in 1. Last legal ball was a wide for the English, a wide bowled by Bhajji, which at that point seemed forgivable, only now it seemed, hadn't that extra ball been bowled, hadn't England scored those extra runs, we would have been in a different situation now! (Last ball-India hit a boundary.)

Now was the moment when it was OK to lose hope - and start pointing fingers. But fingers had already been pointed since India's loss to Windies, struggling win against B'desh, and not so convincing win against Irish.

Lets ennumerate who we can blame -

1. Dhoni, for being such a bad captain, batting worst against Windies, and not showing mettle against England. For sending Jadeja up the order, given his habit of consuming balls, rendering them useless. For excluding Ojha and continuing to play Ishant. The former was one of the highest wicket takers, having taken at least one wicket in every previous ball, the latter, not having taken even a few wickets, and being extremely costly. I respect him when I have to, but now is not one of those times. He is going the way all famous cricketers go - his smiling face creeps up in ads, news, gossip, tabloids - all for reasons extra-cricketing.

2. Jadeja, although he took two critical wickets, he must have been trustworthy for having been sent so far up the order for his first World Cup match. All he did was desperately hit the bouncers sent his way, and leave it to fate to decide when he would be dismissed. No doubt, many Indians would have called for his early dismissal as soon as they saw his performance.

3. Ishant Sharma - what the hell is this man doing still in the team, despite of his bad performance in IPL, and the last few matches? And surely Ojha deserved to play!

4. The IPL managers (whoever they are) - for scheduling the IPL, so that there was such a little gap for Indian players to stand and stare. They were whisked away to England so soon! I say, too much is being expected of them!

5. The team as a whole for not being a team at all. Tabloids had noted cracks in the team long ago. But the body language of the players told those who noticed - the Indian team had lost the unity, that had been a critical factor in its win the previous season.

6. Again the team for depending too much on Yuvraj: give the guy a break! Just because he is well-built and can hit, doesn't mean you can let you guard down when the first batsmen get out! 'Don't worry, Yuvy's there' - this mentality should have been the spectators', not of the players'! What are Gambhir, Dhoni, Raina, Rohit doing? Atleast take a leaf out of Singh's book and bat well for God's sake! Yuvraj cannot be depended upon every time to save the day because - face it - he is human after all!

This time I didn't even wait to watch the ball hit the ropes after the unnecessary last ball boundary. The FM was on soon after, as I lay cursing in my bed. India was definitely out - it had finally sunk in.

Channel 1- 'Toh lut gayeee! Haan lut gayeee...'
Channel 2- 'I'm never gonna forgive Dhoni... Enjoy these tracks... 'Kaisa silaa diya, yeh wafaa ka kaisa silaa diya....'
Channel 3- ... ....

I turned to the screen of my FM device, there was written - 'Battery Over. Recharge. ByeBye.'

At last my FM had decided, I didn't need to hear such depressive tracks. It committed suicide.

India versus South Africa, anyone?

(By now, you will have said, when did the dummy start writing 'for dummies' blogs? Sure, sure...:-)