A Feeling called Mumbai

I really wanted to write something about the onset of Monsoon, but they can wait (they are waiting): I really can't skip telling you all what happened yesterday, the day India goofed up, so comically, its last match in T-20 World cup 2009. India vs South Africa.

This time, I didn't even turn to Star Cricket. The TV was switched off at ten - exactly the time at which the match started. I'm sure you will agree - what's the point in watching a game India stands no chance of gaining anything from. It's out of the contest - that's that.

But that didn't mean I was not at all interested in the match - my electronically resurrected FM device would provide me with latest score updates! I switched on the radio; reception was exceptionally clear tonight - maybe because of the clear skies (courtesy - delayed Monsoons in Mumbai). Even the choice of songs had exceeded Mumbai FM's usual standards. All new songs from all new movies - man, the songs were great!

The score updates went on as usual. I was happy to notice the undaunted loyalty of Indian supporters, the belief that last two matches were mistakes - this match would prove India's superiority. The scoreboard was also pointing to that fact: end of South Africa's innings - India had succeeded in containing the favorites-of-the-World-Cup to a meager 130 runs in 20 overs. This was unreal, man! Even the skeptic in me started cheering. In my mind I started making up the title and content of the apologetic and encouraging blog I'd be writing the next day (today).

The RJs were jubilant - their words conveying billion Indian's thoughts - 'do not mess with India, we fall and rise like the Phoenix!' Jubilant also were the songs that came my way...

I was in half mind to turn on the TV, but laziness held me back, and I decided to use the cheaper form of entertainment instead to keep myself up-to-date with the score.

Second Innings - the jubilation continues - 50 runs for no loss. One DJ said - '...crushed will those be who challenge India, like South Africa is being crushed now by Indian Tigers...' Another said - '...India is on the verge of retaining its image as the champions again...'

Then suddenly, the frequency of the score updates reduced, and the frequency of the songs increased. I thought - 'Good, I'll enjoy a few songs, and after that I'll hear a developed score, good...'

But then the RJ was back, saying all sorts of rubbish ranging from pressurized situations to breaking up with girlfriends, I was like 'Cut the crap, man! Tell the freaking score!'

As if in reply he said '... and India is being swatted like mosquitoes - the score is 76-5.'

All those rosy images in my mind of a win at last came to an abrupt halt - What the hell! Five down! This is bad!

I desperately waited for the next update, my fingers crossed; only it didn't come - the usual run of three songs got extended to 5 songs in the current channel, as the RJ took his own time to return. I tried changing the channels, only to realise all the other channels had turned on their 'NonStopGaane' or 'LateNightNonStop' feature and the former channel was the only one with an active RJ! That struck me weird - why would the competing FM channels show so much unity in keeping the score from the listeners? It was as if mentioning India's completely shameful and impending defeat was an unspeakable crime, and the RJs were determined to spare the listeners of this agony!

Also, unlike in the previous matches, the FMs were not playing depressing songs in reaction to India loss (that is, if India had lost, I didn't know as yet).

So I quickly turned to Mobile GPRS, and the score stared me in the face -

India 19.3 overs 115-8 Required Runrate 32.00.

I slumped. India had done it again - proved that it was not fit to play against any decent team in this World Cup. I mean, India had shown us that it could neither win batting first, nor chasing. And in chasing it couldn't even chase a small target! This was the limit! I couldn't believe it!

I turned back to FM, although I knew what I was about to hear. Sure enough (I am NOT making this one up):

Channel one - 'Dil hai ki maaaanta nahin.....'

Then I noticed a something strange.

Channel two - 'Falak tak chal saath mere.... Falak tak chal saath chal....'

Channel three - 'Thik hai thik thik, sab kucch thik hai, paas hai sab kucch, rab nazdeek hai....'

Channel four - 'Kaho na Kaho, Yeh aankhen bolti hain, o sanam o sanam....'

Channel five - 'Don't worry, be happy, 'coz every little thing, is gonna be alright!'

This abrupt reversal of the behavior of FM stunned me. Then, I felt relieved that India had at last learned to cope with the unpredictable nature of T-20, and had learned not to expect much of this team, either! I shall not go into blaming anyone this time, one: because I did not see a single ball of this match, two: the Indian team just showed us, that it was beyond blaming....

'Ladkon ne toh band bajadi pant kholkar, Apni ijjat in the hands of DESI GIRLS...

The famous adage 'Roti, Kapda aur Makaan' as the most basic needs of an Indian citizen, applies for the guys who have run away from their homes in the far-removed dark corners of India, and have arrived in this Dream City, and find that they neither have food, clothes nor a shelter. But that part of Mumbai is yet to be revealed to me. As far as I know, the people I see on the streets need 'Roti, Kapda and F.M.'

Frequency Modulated, as the educated of you would say, but who cares, as long as you have earphones, an FM-enabled phone in your pocket and rocking music in your ears... That is what FM means in Mumbai.

I have walked many walks in the busy locality in my neighbourhood, and have seen many interesting sights, but nothing I have noticed is more worthy of mention here than this: people moving onwards, their faces resolute with some unknown goal, but fast tightened to their shirts, snaking upwards from their pockets a black wire, which bifurcates at some point in two, and empties right into the two ears. Almost 80% of the people I see on the path - kid, adult and elderly - provide the same sight - and it did not take me long to know that they were all enjoying what was the most relished form of entertainment that had gripped metroes in India - the FM.


The age when radio meant a black box, extensible antennae, a struggle for reception and some loons reading the news - is gone - in this new world of virtual entertainment, FM has long since been declared the 'next big thing'. Plug and play, and listen to the newest music, cackle at the funniest jokes and munch on delicious gossip - that is FM.

Suno Sunao Life Banao, Bajate Raho, It's Hot - these have become the new mottos of Mumbai - where every other person is listening to one of the many channels which provide unending entertainment in FM. And the channels are owned by hot-shot companies like Relaince, TOI and RED to name a few...

It is not that I heard of this phenomenon here for the first time. Where I lived, Bhubaneswar, there was FM too, but not in this magnitude. The popularity and spiciness of FM there was nothing compared to what it was here. There only the hip-hop Gen-next (an infant species, there) enjoyed FM, but here in Mumbai, age no bar!

I wasted no time in buying an FM enabled device and immediately plugged in to the exciting world of FM, there was a channel where everything was Hot, another which wanted you to Play on and on, another which claimed to be 'for' the fast new generation, another that claimed to make you life always worthwhile and so on. Two songs later, you get to hear the latest news and gossip from the RJs - they're not bad - and every other song you get to hear a new funny feature like : Ghanta Singh who calls up real-life people and tortures them with his funny and silly questions, Pappudia which makes caricatures of Bollywood biggies, and so on. At night a few channels turned on the Love theme where a self-proclaimed LOVE GURU would help Mumbaikaars with their love problems in a digitally altered omnipotent 'bhavishyabani' type of voice, a channel would bring the songs of the yesteryear back to you, and if you didn't like any of that, just turn on the channel where English songs are played day and night! And on Saturday, more than one channel provide you with non-stop crazy remixes of the greatest hits by famed DJs!


But who would turn to FM Rainbow, the last-ditch effort of Akashvani to hook in some listeners?

Twenty-20 World Cup 2009 - the phenomenon that has been long awaited by India all over. 2007 champions India will never let the cup go to hands of anyone else!

Or at least that is what the advertisements in the FMs called for; with the background music of soldiers marching and victory bells ringing; this particular ad caught my, er, ears. Filled with national pride, I followed the matches, either on the telly, or (if I was forced to shut it down due to the lateness of the hour) on the FM - India win the first two matches, but what is this?

West Indies won the third match, much to my worst fears: I turned off the TV resentfully, cursing. I turned on the FM to lighten up.


Channel One - 'What to tell you guys - I'll give it to you straight - Har gaye yaar, kya karein...'
Channel Two - '...lost the match, what a shame... listen to these tracks.... Beeeteeey Lamheeeee...'
Channel Three - 'Kahin to Hogi Woh...Duniyaaa...'

Channel Four - 'Jaane Kahaan Gaye woh Din...'

Channel Five - 'Locked up... They won't let me out...'


Depressed and infuriated I pushed the Change button forcefully. No change in tone. When did FM start reflecting India's resentfulness? It was like FM was mourning India's loss too... (But then, the songs are selected by us humans...)

That remains the only time FM let me down. C'mon yaar... Harey to Harey, ab yeh dukhi gaane kyun?